Emotional Regulation
Managing big, erratic emotions can be challenging, but with the right strategies, you can learn to calm your mind, regulate your emotions, and respond to situations more thoughtfully. Here’s a coaching approach tailored to a high school or college student with ADHD.
1. Recognize Your Emotional Triggers
Why: Understanding what sets you off helps you take proactive steps.
How to do it:
• Keep a journal or use a notes app to track situations where you feel big emotions.
• Write down the time, place, people involved, and how you felt (e.g., frustrated, overwhelmed, embarrassed).
• Over time, look for patterns (e.g., arguments, deadline pressure, social stress).
2. Build a “Pause” Habit
Why: Emotions feel urgent, but reacting immediately can make things worse.
How to do it:
• When emotions feel overwhelming, pause for 5-10 seconds.
• Use grounding techniques like:
• 5-4-3-2-1 Method: Name 5 things you see, 4 things you hear, 3 things you feel, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste.
• Breathing Box Technique: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4.
3. Create a Comfort Toolkit
Why: Having go-to tools can help you self-soothe when emotions spike.
What to include:
• Physical Objects: Fidgets, stress balls, or weighted blankets.
• Calming Activities: A playlist of calming songs, funny YouTube videos, or journaling.
• Sensory Tools: Lavender lotion, warm tea, or a favorite hoodie.
4. Channel Your Energy
Why: Big emotions need an outlet, and channeling them into action can help.
What to do:
• Use movement: Go for a brisk walk, stretch, or try 10 jumping jacks.
• Release emotions creatively: Draw, write, or create playlists that reflect your mood.
• Vent safely: Talk to someone you trust or record yourself talking it out (voice memos can help).
5. Reframe Negative Thoughts
Why: Your thoughts can fuel emotional storms. Shifting them can calm you down.
How to do it:
• When you catch yourself spiraling, ask:
• “Is this fact or feeling?”
• “What’s the worst, best, and most likely outcome here?”
• “Will this still matter in a week/month/year?”
• Write out the worst-case scenario, then brainstorm solutions.
6. Schedule Daily Decompression Time
Why: Regular self-care reduces the buildup of stress and emotions.
How to do it:
• Set aside 15-30 minutes for yourself each day. Ideas:
• Meditate using apps like Calm or Headspace.
• Do yoga or light stretching.
• Journal a brain dump of your thoughts.
7. Build Emotional Vocabulary
Why: Labeling emotions helps you understand and manage them.
How to do it:
• Use a feelings chart to pinpoint what you’re experiencing (e.g., “I’m not just angry; I feel disappointed”).
• Try this sentence: “I feel [emotion] because [situation], and I need [what helps you].”
8. Use “If-Then” Plans for Stressful Situations
Why: Preparing for tricky situations can help you feel in control.
How to do it:
Example:
• If I feel overwhelmed before a big test, then I’ll take a 5-minute walk before starting to study.
• If I’m frustrated during a group project, then I’ll step outside and text a friend for support.
9. Talk Back to Impulses
Why: Impulses are fleeting, but their consequences last.
How to do it:
• Visualize a stop sign when you want to lash out or react impulsively.
• Ask yourself, “What will this solve?”
• Practice self-talk like:
• “I can feel this, but I don’t have to act on it.”
• “It’s okay to take my time before responding.”
10. Celebrate Wins
Why: ADHD brains thrive on positive reinforcement!
How to do it:
• Acknowledge every time you successfully manage your emotions (even small wins).
• Reward yourself with something you enjoy, like a treat or a break.
